How Your Spouse Is Essential To Your Career: Roll Through Changing Tides
As the age old saying goes, we must love our spouse “through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer”. There is a peace in knowing that your spouse will roll with you when the proverbial tides of life rise and fall.
Life inevitably brings happy and sad times. Even as work demands or unemployment can get tough you can keep your spouse focused on moving forward. Instead of complaining about tough times, listen to them and take turns sharing your feelings while taking his/hers into account. Complaining and fighting does little to constructively move forward. Be active in minimizing fights and focus on maximizing strategy planning sessions through communication.
When Franck and I went through a year of his uncertain employment and earnings situation, we always kept our mantra, “This is only temporary, so let’s learn while we can.” It’s very easy to point fingers and blame one another for our difficulties. I’ll be the first person to say I did my fair share. However, we always got to the point of saying, “Woulda, coulda, shoulda” and turned our energies on making things better, asking ourselves, “What can we do today to lead us into the next step?”. We were literally taking things one day at a time.
When my clients get overwhelmed, I get them to focus only on changing the present moment, transforming that energy into the present day, focusing on only the week ahead; nothing more. They know they have long term goals, but if they focus solely on those goals, rather just on daily objectives it makes it harder to keep track of the small steps that make the journey. At the end of three and six months, my clients look back on their notes and say, “I cannot believe I just went through all of that. I’ve accomplished so much.”
In marriage and relationships, we sometimes have to coach each other to just be present in the moment, responding to life’s difficulties one mindful decision at a time. It’s so easy for couples to get overwhelmed, forsaking each other because they’re drowning in negative emotions as a result of thinking about everything at once – bills, finding a job, feeding the kids, making the mortgage, finding an income, dealing with bad colleagues, stressful projects; whatever. It’s our responsibility to remember and remind each other that phases come and go – how long we spend in each phase depends solely on us. Which is why I like to say that coaching gets clients through tough transitional phases faster and with more grace.
When things are great, help your spouse by being financially conservative in preparation for the inevitable recessions or layoffs. Look for new opportunities for personal and professional growth and help your spouse by keeping things simple. A lot of couples get focused on taking on more responsibilities because they’re making more. Keep life simple and costs low and you’ll be thanking yourselves later, which leads me to the next point…. keeping finances on track.
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